I nominate my good friend and riding/beer buddy, Stormy (aka: David Aessie) for the Gumby Training session!
2016 was the 2nd year in a row that Stormy cracked his ribs while riding in Simcoe County. He OBVIOUSLY needs remedial training in proper crash technique so as not to threepeat his rib injury this year.
The first was a solo ride in 2015 when he buried the front wheel in the deep sand on the hills in Williams tract, went over the bars in a slow fall and impaled himself on a handlebar end. Ouch! That was a month off the bike. He tried to explain this lapse saying that he was distracted by some topless riders, but we've seen Franz, Brad, Don and Rob without their jerseys on, and thought that might cause you to ride your bike off the trail in search of some sharp sticks to poke your eyes out with, it would not cause you to lose control at a walking pace!
Last year, Stormy was riding the most excellent BAD Company trail in Horseshoe, and tipped over in a rutted right hand, uphill turn. Again a slow fall, but there was a small stump hiding in the debris on the side of the trail that hit his chest protector and slid off into his ribs. He really had to work hard to find such a small stump and stick it into his ribs! It seems there is nothing that Stormchazer won't do to get his hands on the Razie Award!
Given the slow speed at the time of the incidents, I think Stormy is definitely a gumby of the highest order, and most deserving to attend this course, and rather than have him crack his ribs for a 3rd year in a row in 2017, I think we should nip that in the bud, and give him the slot!
Here is some photographic evidence to support Stormy's nomination.....
In a later ride, once the ribs healed, Stormy reenacted his wipeout. His glove is pointing at the offending stump. Don't strain your eyes...it's so small I couldn't see it either! Next year he may have to ride with a magnifying glass stashed in his pack.
Here is a closeup of the tiny stump....it sure is small, isn't it? The ladies said they wouldn't even have noticed something that small....size does matter!
Stormy was so proud of his 2nd year in a row rib injury, he even took a photo in the hospital, wanting to brag to the nurses about his stump-induced injury. The nurses weren't very impressed. They were heard giggling about the miniscule size in the hospital corridors after the examination.
And a closeup of the damage caused by that insignificant little stump, though rumour has it that Dave just wanted to show off his augmented nippleage to the nurses...
When asked about the size of his rather inadequate "stump", and his thoughts on being nominated for the Gumby Course, Stormy had this to say:
So....to help Stormy face down his feelings of inadequate stumpage and help avoid a 3rd year of rib injury in a row, I respectfully ask that you seriously consider his extensive, albeit small, qualifications as a nominee for the Traction eRag Gumby Training Course on June 3rd!
